Conversations in Real Time Page 5
Though the way his arm felt, he figured typing wasn't going to be that much of an option.
The long hot shower worked his sore, tired muscles wonderfully, and after changing into some jogging pants he finally felt just about human again. Forgoing the laptop he climbed into the bed and grabbed the phone instead. Plugging in the therapeutic heat pad that Nellie had bought him, he settled the blessed comforting warmth over his shoulder, and dialed the now familiar number.
“How was your appointment?” Daniel asked instantly, when he saw who was calling.
“Can I whimper and die in a more dignified manner now?”
“That good, huh?”
“Evil little bitch is what she was.”
Daniel chuckled. “She was only trying to help. You need full movement in that shoulder.”
“You're channeling her and Nellie now, damnit!”
“Grouchy there, dude. Very grouchy.”
“I have every right to be,” James sniffed.
“Are you eating?”
“Not right now.”
“James?”
“Yes, I'm eating.”
“Good boy.”
“If you were here you'd so be petting me right now, wouldn't you?”
“Totally.”
James sighed and snuggled into his bed a little deeper. “That might be nice actually.”
“Might? Hey, it would definitely be awesome.” Daniel grinned at the thought, then felt a weird stab of pain that he was in reality so very far away from the object of his affections. “Letting someone who cares about you get close enough to do something about it, can be a lot of fun.”
A small, wicked smiled graced his lips as he waited for James to reply.
“Fun, huh? Like movies and popcorn?”
“Tea and warm blankets.”
“Watching you cook dinner.”
“Watching you take your meds.”
James laughed at that one. “Ouch, low blow.”
“Then how about a massage and some quiet music?”
“Much better.”
“Something classical. Mozart maybe. And a bottle of wine.”
“Yeah that's definitely more like it.”
“How about candlelight and conversation?”
“I can get with that. Just depends what the conversation is about.”
“Your choice.”
“No sports. No trivia.”
Daniel flopped down in the nearest armchair, totally forgetting about the job application he'd been filling in. “Then what?” he teased. “Fashion? Cars? Cats?”
“You know me so well!” James snickered lightly, surprising himself with the light amusement in his own voice.
“I want to know you so much more.”
“You're getting there.”
“Even this far away?”
“Even so.”
There was a moment of contented peace that allowed them to sit together, each simply listening to the other breathe.
“Are you falling asleep on me?” Daniel asked softly.
“Uh-huh,” James muttered, “little bit. Damn pills.”
“It's okay. You need to rest. Sleep is good for you.”
“So I keep being told,” he yawned.
Dan smiled, wishing above every other desire beating in his heart, that he could do more for James than simply sit on the other end of a long distance phone call. “I think you should stop arguing with me, do what you're told and go to sleep,” he chided gently.
An indecipherable murmur reached him from L.A. and he closed his eyes, trying to visualize tousled blond hair on a crisp, white pillow…
A few minutes later he heard the slow and even breathing of a man who had fallen asleep, and somewhere in his mind he found himself tucking James into bed and making him comfortable with the utmost care.
It was only with the greatest reluctance that he finally put his phone down and ended the call.
“Sleep well,” he whispered, the fact that he'd forgotten what he was doing before James called, suddenly hitting him in the head. But one thought kept coming back to him, that there had to be a way he could get his ass out of Britain and back to the land of his birth.
He just needed the money to do it.
Oh, and a job.
* * *
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Unknown
Raining again. Very wet. Soaked through. May be coming down with a cold.
Sender: James
Subject: Hugs?
Try and stay warm. Take Vitamin C.
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Hugs?
“Achoooo!”
Sender: James
Subject: Unknown
Hands over box of tissues.
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Unknown
Snags box. Thank you.
* * *
“How are you feeling?”
Daniel sensed a bloom of warmth in his chest as James spoke quietly in his ear.
“Better,” he replied, barely stifling a loud sneeze. Instead he snuffled into a tissue infused with menthol. “I'm not dying today.”
“Glad to hear it!”
“Eurgh…” He struggled with the blankets he'd been lying under, and it sent the book he'd been reading tumbling to the floor.
“You alright there?”
“Yeah just tired.”
“Wait, isn't that normally my line?” James snorted.
“You haven't actually said it much lately. Well, not recently anyway.”
“Ah, well that's a good thing then.”
“Yes it is. It really is. At least you're not complaining about your therapist.”
“Yet.”
Daniel snickered and blew his nose.
“Are you resting?” James asked.
“Now, isn't that one my line normally?” Daniel chortled.
“Really, we make such a fine pair.” James found himself in complete agreement. “I think we might've figured that out a while back though, huh?”
“Oh yeah. Sending you that first email was the best thing I ever did in my life.”
“My team certainly thinks so. We're working a case that your research will help with, and Ryan was…”
“Wait! What?” Daniel bolted up so fast he got a head rush. “We? James, you're on leave. Are you working?”
“Just staying in touch with what's happening.”
“You're working!”
James heard something weirdly unexpected in Daniel's voice. Was it disappointment?
“I was asked for an opinion on something. I've been out for six weeks now, Dan. I have to stay in touch if I can.” He wasn't sure why he felt so guilty all of a sudden.
“I thought you were meant to be staying away from stress, so you can heal?” Daniel had pretty much already figured that James was still working. No one who was that driven could just cease to pay attention.
“I am healing, Dan. I swear. I'm only doing paperwork and answering emails. I'm not stressed out or doing too much.”
“I worry about you.” And that was all Daniel could say without getting angry. He really didn't want to get angry.
“I know you do. And I'm glad you do. But sometimes even a great team like mine needs some guidance if we're going to get the convictions we fight so hard for.”
“I know.”
“I won't apologize for doing what I do best.”
“I'm not asking you to.” Daniel sneezed again. His sinuses were throbbing and his head felt about ready to explode.
“The work doesn't stop just because I got shot.”
“I know that.” Daniel wondered just how long it would take for James to understand what he was saying to him.
“I'm not stressed. I'm eating, resting and taking my damn medication.” James wondered just how long it would take for Daniel to understand what he was saying.
“I'm glad to hear all that. It doesn't stop me from worrying about you though.”
Neither man spoke, b
oth of them seeming to understand at the same instant, just what it was they'd each been saying to the other.
“You're too important for me to lose,” Dan said simply, “and if its selfish for me to say that I don't want you burning out in chasing old ghosts for the sake of dead people, way before I can even get to meet you in person, well then so be it. I know how what you do matters. It matters on so many levels. But James…? You matter to me more.”
No one had ever said anything like that to Lieutenant Caldwell before, and he blinked away the sudden burning sensation behind his eyes.
He had no idea what to say at that point.
None.
At all.
So Daniel said it for him. “You're always on my mind, so just remember that, okay?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, “you know I will.”
And by the time he put the phone down he knew Daniel was on his mind so much more than he'd ever realized.
* * *
Sender: James
Subject: Dreams
Could be the meds but I'm having weird dreams here.
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Dreams
Good weird?
Sender: James
Subject: Re: Dreams
I think so.
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Dreams
You only think so?
Sender: James
Subject: Re: Dreams
Not sure I can recall it all when I'm awake.
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Dreams
You feeling okay?
Sender: James
Subject: Re: Dreams
Yeah. But weird. You okay over there too?
Sender: Daniel
Subject: Re: Dreams
Yeah. Good. Gimme ten mins and we'll talk when I head home.
Sender: James
Subject: Re: Dreams
Cool.
* * *
And so it went on.
Every day.
Sometimes for hours.
Whether it was through the night in Oxford or L.A., or they were just messaging and texting back and forth, never a day went past them without communication of some kind, and whilst some of it was only brief, as simple assurance that all was well in their respective countries and each was still alive and kicking, such days were neither as happy nor as comfortable as those spent in long discussion curled up, cradling their phones and wishing they were sat side by side over mugs of hot tea, not an ocean and a continent apart.
Politics, religion, philosophy, science, news, books and poetry, history, travel and movies were topics they willingly covered on the journey toward each other's story.
Though neither touched long on part of their respective pasts, they each bore respect enough for the other not to push too hard, ask too much, or cause pain where none was due, and as that respect duly deepened, so too did their capacity to reveal more of themselves than they had ever done to any other living soul.
Yet it never felt scary. Sometimes it surprised them how easily they just fitted together, sharing themselves, knowing it was safe, and it was good.
And it was meant to be.
* * *
surfdudecop: Hey you're up late again.
bikergeek: Hi JC, I'm always up late. You should know this about me by now.
surfdudecop: Do you ever sleep? Wait stupid question. So any word on that job possibility you mentioned?
bikergeek: Yeah, actually I got an interview at the end of the week. *grins* Guess it's time to dig that old suit out again, if the moths haven't eaten it. You back to work tomorrow? All set to ride a desk again?
surfdudecop: Yep. Doctor cleared me as long as I promise to behave, but as Cold Case is mostly research and desk work anyway, it's not like I can get into too much trouble. Of course Nellie is babying me worse than ever, so I doubt I'll even be getting my own coffee for the first week back. She still thinks its weird I talk more to you as someone I've never met, than to the people who come visit.
bikergeek: Let her take care of you. You love it really when she mothers you, and you can't deny it! Hey tell her I'm not some creepy stalker dude, okay? *smirks*
surfdudecop: That’s our little secret. Oh, I got an interesting call today.
bikergeek: Yeah? Something case related?
surfdudecop: My sister-in-law. She wants to have dinner and talk about my nephew.
bikergeek: Oh God, when you mention Liza I know there's trouble. Any idea what’s going on?
surfdudecop: Not sure. I know little Tommy's been acting out a bit lately, but it's nothing beyond what typical 13 year old kids do anyway, so I'm guessing it’s the same thing as always.
bikergeek: Figures. JC, you have to tell her how you feel. You can't keep dancing round it. You're her brother-in-law not some quick lay who looks like her husband.
surfdudecop: I know. I just don't want her to be upset and then suddenly I don't get to see my nephew anymore. He's all I have left of my brother.
bikergeek: I know he is, and I know the last thing you want is to hurt her, but she doesn't seem to realize just what you've helped her get through.
surfdudecop: brb - phone call
bikergeek: k
surfdudecop has signed out
* * *
surfdudecop has signed in
surfdudecop: Hey Daniel, you there?
bikergeek: Yeah I'm here. Where else would I be? I always listen out for your message ping. What the hell happened? Where d'you go? Something wrong?
surfdudecop: I got a surprise visit.
bikergeek: A good one I hope.
surfdudecop: Liza. She called, then showed up at my door. It wasn't pretty
bikergeek: Holy fuck! What happened?
surfdudecop: She showed up in a… Well let's just say she wasn't wearing very much, and I basically had to tell her that I wasn't interested, and it just went straight to hell after that. I shouldn't really mention the bruise on my cheek where she hit me.